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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582809">He Won't Say It (He's in Love)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptySora/pseuds/EmptySora'>EmptySora</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Denial, Fanart, Fluff, Homophobia, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, Light Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, POV First Person, Pepper Potts Is a Good Bro, Songfic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 22:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,384</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23582809</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmptySora/pseuds/EmptySora</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is <i>not</i> in love. No matter what any of his friends might say or any magical curse involving singing classic Disney songs.<br/>Tony Stark is not in love, now if people stopped mentioning it maybe he'd be able to get Steve off his mind for a minute.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>He Won't Say It (He's in Love)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p>
<p>God, you know it’s always like this. I can't have one normal goddamned day. For once I thought it was seemingly normal day when it started (as normal as a day for the Avengers could get), I woke up, ate breakfast Steve (was there something the man wasn’t good at?) had made, watched Clint and Thor fight over the last Poptart (the god obviously winning, Legolas stood no chance. Serves him right that little shit) and discussed the mechanics of there being alternate universes with Bruce (and other <em>very </em>exciting topics. God, Bruce was such a gossip).</p>
<p>You see, a normal day! Well… except Nat was out on a mission but other than that all was normal. I mean, I guess Steve was acting a bit off but who doesn’t occasionally have a odd morning, right? I guess I was too busy <s>staring at Steve's abs 
</s> thinking about the possibility of alternate universes (dammit Brucie, you had one job) to have noticed, yep, no other reason. (I swear he gets that much more gorgeous every time I look at him).</p>
<p>Not that I have thing a thing for Cap or anything… okay! I do but honesty you'd have to blind to not be able to appreciate the human perfection that is Steve, still that’s as far as it goes! I swear. Even if in the deepest, darkest crevices of my mind screamed ‘Denial!’, I knew myself and I knew that there was an absolute zero percent chance that I liked (God forbid, <em>loved</em>) him and if Pepper and Rhodey weren’t so adamant on pointing out ‘signs' that I had a crush then maybe I’d might be able to get him off my mind for longer than a minute.</p>
<p>Now that I’ve got that out my system I can continue. Anyway, so once breakfast was done Steve went on his daily morning run, which was late (again odd but, yeah, I don’t have an excuse) and I headed down to the workshop to work on some arrow upgrades for Barton. I guess you could call that the metaphorical calm before the storm.</p>
<p>As after our little moment of ‘normalcy’ everything went to shit.</p>
<p>It started maybe an hour (give or take) into fucking around with the ‘bouncy boom-boom' arrows that Clint (that shithead, disrespecting my craft) had asked for when the Avengers alarm went off and with Cap being a no show, that left the remaining Avengers to be sent out to deal with the villain of the week. If only it were that simple.</p>
<p>Except our, <em>oh so smart</em>, villain had a <em>musical raygun</em>. Who the fuck just thinks, “Oh let me just use all this potential genius, not to make something of actual value or use but instead just to fuck with people?</p>
<p>Okay, so maybe I have done stuff which could be comparable to that, but this is taking a bit too fucking far! Maybe I’m a <em>little </em>bit biased ‘cause I may have been hit with it and it's whole reason I’m in this situation but still!</p>
<p>Of course the song that I ended up stuck was out of complete randomness (even if Bruce insists that it was chosen ‘cause it strongly relates to how I was feeling at the moment) <strong>Hercules’s</strong> ‘I Won't Say I’m in Love', with the present Avengers (Dressed in white robes, due to some bullshit pseudo-magic/science. I swear I’ve had enough of magic to last me a lifetime) acting as the muses.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>I’ll never admit it but while I was bursting out in full musically number, just for a moment, everything was… right. And maybe falling into the arms of that memorial statue of Steve made my heart flatter. It was, for lack of a better term, fun and seeing Hulk wearing a white robe while he gracefully shouted, “When you going to own up that you’ve got, got, got it bad!” while the others cheered him on will probably be the best thing I will ever see (and best blackmail ever).</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>If only it didn’t happen out in public, in front of a crowd, in front of people with Stark phones and access to the internet. Just my luck the song happened to be about loving a man, no grey area <em>there. </em>And when sung by a man, sounds very much like someone deep in the closet. And well the thing is, as much as I’m out to my friends, I’m not out to the public. Like <em>Howard</em> would have ever allowed his only son (and heir to the only thing he actually loved) to be openly gay, hell, he'd rather his son be a child alcoholic than gay. Sure, the man is… dead but I guess I never really got over his whole… him.</p>
<p>So, I’ve kinda kept it a secret, not like I’ve really been in any long-term relationships (other than Pepper and that didn’t end well), just a couple one-night stands with some randos in college. Sure, there were rumors (there’s <em>always </em>rumors) but they never had any evidence to back them up… well now they do. God, the <em>tabloids. </em>I’m honestly scared to check my Twitter right now. I feel almost bad for Pepper having to deal with this awful PR storm… if she didn’t stare at me with that fucking knowing grin, (along with Rhodey, Bruce, Thor- you get the program) on the way back after putting that asshole villain behind bars!</p>
<p>That’s why I’m currently sitting in the corner of the workshop on total lockdown, no access (not even Pepper or Rhodey), contemplating the life choices that have led me down this road. And nothing would convince me to move out of this humid as shit room (certainly not a certain super soldier). Just me, myself and I, alone with my thoughts, and well managing to <em>process</em> all my emotions because that’s something I apparently have. Who would have guessed! The infamous genius, playboy, billionaire philanthropist, Tony Stark has emotions and complex ones at that. Okay! So maybe they’re not that complex and maybe I'm just balls deep in denial but that’s a… tough pill to swallow, you know? And maybe, maybe I am in love, so what! Steve was born in the 40’s, even if he were gay (and interested in me) he probably has a lot of repressed/internalized homophobia to work through. Yep, that’s definitely the only reason I won't say it out loud. Nope, no <em>minor</em> fears of rejection in <em>this </em>grown ass man!</p>
<p>Hearing the sounds of a door opening or footsteps approaching me should have probably alerted me immediately, but of course at this point I’ve kinda been in the workshop for several hours (stopped bothering to count after being down here six hours) so exhaustion had its foul clutches on me. Maybe even after the sound of a cup being placed next to me. Only after feeling the large, encompassing hand covers my back do I finally make come to three conclusions:</p><ol>
<li>I’m no longer the only person in the room.</li>
<li>There are people who have codes to override lockdown.</li>
<li>I recognize that hand (I dream about that hand).</li>
</ol>
<p>“Those codes are for emergencies only; you do realize that?” my voice finally breaking the silence.</p>
<p>“Well, when you’ve locked yourself down here for several hours that it becomes a danger to your health?” his hand stroking my sore back, rubbing away the aches of being in the same position for hours, “<em>Then</em>, I consider that an emergency.”</p>
<p>The pure sincerity behind the words is really what shocks me. So, I risk it, quickly raising my head to catch a glimpse of his sky-blue eyes… only to have that glimpse quickly turn into a stare. “Umm… wha-” I articulate gracefully.</p>
<p>“So-" he cuts me off, only to realize, with a slight grimace, what he did.</p>
<p>“You go first!” he attempts to recover, if a bit loud.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine. I wasn’t really sure what to say anyway,” I avert my eyes from his hard graze and tense shoulders, ignoring the slight disappointment I’m sure I imagine.</p>
<p>“You sure?” I nod my head swiftly reply, “Okay… well, I brought you some coffee and a sandwich, Shellhead,” He points toward the cup and plate next to me, his tone sounding a bit unsure of itself.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I see. Thanks,” A warm smile working itself onto my face, his shoulders loosing up a bit in return.</p>
<p>“So, is that all you’re here for?” I follow up on my previous statement, a slight tinge of cold anticipation shots through my body also I lean towards him in my chair.</p>
<p>“Oh… yeah. So, I heard about how the attack went down in Times Square,” Steve's eyes make a valiant effort to avoid mine, “And I… thought you might need to talk. Umm, yeah?”</p>
<p>“What’s there to talk about!?” I immediately regret how harsh I come off, far too protective of myself, “Nothing happened, period,” I managed to subdue to my tone a bit.</p>
<p>“Look Tony,” Steve says, standing his ground, like a firm, gentle giant. “I know this whole situation kinda, for lack of a better word, crappy with the whol-"</p>
<p>Faster than I realize, a quick burst of anger rushes through me, “Yeah! And where were you Mr No-Show!” my voice harsh, unrepentant.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Steve says, tensing, as he turns around, heading to the door.</p>
<p>“Wait!” I say, “I didn’t mean to- well I did but, God!” Why did this have to be so goddamned difficult, I’ve literally spent all this time processing this shit so why can't I communicate it!?</p>
<p>“Just don’t go!” I manage.</p>
<p>Steve stops in his tracks, body still facing the door (away from me). “Okay,” He croaks out, just above his breath.</p>
<p>“Look, it’s just been a really long day, I’ve have been forced to accept some really deeply buried emotions and out in front of literally the whole world and-" Steve starts to turn his body back to me, “It hasn’t been the greatest. So, I’m sorry I blew up at you like that.”</p>
<p>“No, you're right, I should have been there,” Steve says, oddly confident, “I left you guys all alone and you ended up paying the price.”</p>
<p>Again, the sincerity of his words shocks me to my soul. “Steve, don't put so much blame on yourself.”</p>
<p>“No-" Steve tries.</p>
<p>“Just please, if you really want to blame someone, blame the actual villain and get that self-righteous bullshit out of your head.” I stand, leveling myself to him.</p>
<p>“And maybe if I had been ther-.” Anger reaching his voice, though I don’t think it’s for me, for once.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe!" he stops in his tracks, slightly delirious, “Maybe if you weren't such amazing person in the first place, I wouldn't have fallen in love with you!” slamming my fist onto my table… hitting the cup of coffee, shattering it.</p>
<p>The moment stretches longer then it really should, the cracked glass litters the floor while hot coffee stains the papers scattered about, the smell strong. “Shit,” The pain from the glass puncturing my skin finally registers in my mind; I start laughing.</p>
<p>The laughter is what seems to finally break the tension in Steve. “Ar- are you okay?” If I was a bit more delirious from the pain, I might've missed the slight bit of humor in his tone.</p>
<p>“Ha! Definitely not, fuck thishurts,” I say while clutching my palm to reduce the blood flow.</p>
<p>“Shit,” Immediately he rushes over to the first aid kit over by the door, while simultaneously agreeing with my earlier comment.</p>
<p>“Language, Cap.”</p>
<p>“Tony-"</p>
<p>“Yeah yeah. Definitely not the right time.”</p>
<p>He looks at me, unimpressed, as he takes out the bandages from the first aid. Cradling my hand gently, he disinfects the wound and wraps it up. Steve's hand is warm to the touch, somehow it makes the silence more… comforting.</p>
<p>“Do you really lo-like me?” blue eyes pierce my soul, warmer than his hand.</p>
<p>“Steve, it's okay if you're uncomfortable. We can just be fri- "</p>
<p>Steve puts his finger on my lips, “If you told me that a week ago, I probably have punched you but I- I've done some soul searching.”</p>
<p>“In my time, things weren't so… easy, people weren't so accepting. I had to fight tooth and nail just to survive. Until the war I only really had Bucky. Then the war came, I meet Peggy and she was the first and last women I ever loved romantically.” Steve shifts his head robotically to the side.</p>
<p>“Most of my life I was ostracized for being different, I was skinny, I was asthmatic, I was Irish, I was an orphan. No matter what, people found some way to hurt me. Eventually I let it get to me. Even though I tried so hard to be happy with myself, I hated myself because I was different. Managed to Believe I was, what do they say today, a hundred percent straight,” he develops a blush, gripping my hand tightly.</p>
<p>“But then I woke up in a new century, all I knew was gone. Then I meet you,” he looks at me straight on, “And I think…” he takes a deep breath, “I love you too,” His skin going noticeably red.</p>
<p>That's really all the initiative I need. Taking his hand off my lips I close the distance between us.</p>
<p>There are no fireworks or burst of heat. No soaring guitar solos or backup singers to sigh hopefully, just Steve and me in the moment. Steve and his passionate personality, unwavering goodness that, once upon a time, helped end a war. Steve, who lost everything he cared about, who seemed to have fallen in love with me, the beautiful bastard. Steve, a stubborn idiot who didn't know when to stop for his own good, who I'd fallen in love with. We stay like this for a while.</p>
<p>Remembering that we have a respiratory system, we finally break apart. Surrounded by broken glass, coffee stained plans that I will no doubt have to redraw, blood stained bandages, while looking into his hopeful eyes. His perfect, lighter than a blueberry, eyes, his hand in mine. My hand screaming in pain. There wasn't a more perfect moment in my life.</p>
<p>“You said it out loud.”</p>
<p>“Damnit Stev- “</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you enjoyed reading this fic, it's my first time writing one. <br/> Check out the art at</p>
<p>
  <a href="https://soraempty.tumblr.com/post/615042457121456128/just-art-for-a-fic-im-doing">My Tumblr</a>
</p>
<p>P.S<br/>This fic was never meant to be in 1st person but I was 3/4 through it before realizing my error, so yeah... oof</p></blockquote></div></div>
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